• Spiritual Musings

    Spiritual Bypassing of “you should be HEALED”

    Deep ingrained trauma never goes away, it is like a scar.

    One can heal by changing reactions to stimuli that would normally trigger us into an old pattern. Using cognitive therapy by various means and through personal alchemy, we can change how we feel and react to these events that would normally cause us to relive the trauma or act in a way that is not conforming to our will. That is work, but the psychological trauma is never HEALED. We learn to avoid it and work towards a better life that doesn’t negatively affect us. Some people cannot leave environmental realities. These psychological scars wear at us emotionally, cause physical fatigue and a daily onslaught of negativity can wear away what protections we put in place.

    Privileged people in spiritual bypassing can overlook someone’s conditions by being safe in the environment they are now in. They have a spiritual ego without the awareness and empathy of those who are inundated by negative things in someone else’s world.

    In those circumstances, is there spiritual progress? Yes. The discipline of altering how we act over and over improves our lives, our spirit and our soul. Physically we may not escape where we are at, at the moment; however we can work on how it affects us. When the worst of days come, the abuse comes from many sources, when I am physically and emotionally tired, the triggering of traumas and my old reactions to it comes in the same terrifying waves of experience. Getting 2 to 5 minutes of meditative breathing, I can stop the reaction, instead of it lasting days or weeks. Some jobs and situations, I even had to take anti-depressants for some time. Using meditation and internal alchemy I could improve my mind and emotions. Changing the job helped most. Obligations kept me from doing so for a long time. I understand it is difficult.

    Not living in a monastic environment where we can avoid emotions, I’ve learned that each emotion has a positive and negative side. It is about how energy is used.

    Anger helps us focus, being mad one loses control and energy.

    Sorrow, we learn to accept loss, being morose, one clings to what is lost and loses energy to the past.

    Joy, we embrace our life, giddiness we fritter away our energy with infatuation.

    Pensive is where we take energy and store it with an action, versus worry where we run energy out with no prepared action.

    Respect, we see the world as it is, and act accordingly, versus fear where it drains of energy, response and rationality.

    When we choose to change the energetic way emotions work, we can conserve our emotional, physical and spiritual energy. Is it easy? No. Does it take time and rehearsal? Yes. Eventually we improve our lives and reactions to past traumas. In our mind and emotional reactions we avoid the triggered traumas of the past.

    There are parts of the brain changed from traumas. The brain cells feed off of glutamates and permanently wire memories, actions and reactions. This is where traumas effectively create sensitive scars. The idea that you should be HEALED bypasses this physical fact and how people struggle with it every day. regardless of how much spiritual growth they have. Trust in your growth. Meditative detachment and moving into the script and behaviors we have programmed for our selves to keep us from triggering those parts of the brain is what we do. People selling that their spiritual processes will heal you, and infer there is something wrong with you when it doesn’t work, they either haven’t been there or are abusive themselves, looking for followers and sycophants. This spiritual bypassing is toxic.

    The work you have done to make your life better and how you react to life, I am proud of you. When you work to get a balance after all those triggers have been pushed, I am proud of you. I carry my scars proudly, even my mental ones. I have stopped the abuse cycle from affecting my family. I don’t mirror the abuse patterns to other people. I love myself for doing the best I can with what I have been dealt. LOL, sometimes I eat too much or the wrong things, or wallow in hypervigilance, and other counter-dependent behaviors. When this happens, I breathe and focus on my day to day. It is the practice and discipline. In the end and into the next life, the disciplines and alignment will carry over, the rest I’ll shed with this body. Know I am proud of you, no matter how you feel and/or if you are being overwhelmed today. Each step in a new way of being, no matter how much that old life haunts you, is an act of a worthy warrior, creating a better self and world around you. I’ll be proud of you.

    Most importantly, Be Proud of Yourself!

  • Uncategorized

    Truth, Healing, Balance and When to Let Go

    Truth, Healing, Balance and When to Let Go

    Shamans, or spirit workers of different traditions, are healers, intercessors or just the crazy person that has the idea that will work.
    Truth is the foundation from which they work. Without Truth death and destruction follow them faster than a freight train while standing on a railroad crossing with the lights flashing.

    There are shaman that work with shadow and underworld, while others work with the over-world and light. There are Shaman that work with spirits on an earthly level.

    There are those that work for the Good of the Community, and others just for themselves.
    There are magic workers who work for their own selfish reason outside of the truth of the community and are parasites. This causes misery and eventually the world around them collapses. And they bring the world in collapsing around them. The effect sometimes is immediate, and for some it takes lifetimes.

    Many shaman work from their own intrinsic nature. Some are called to one affinity or another. Some are damaged to begin with and some choose to be that way.

    My path is balance. Many say balance and mean getting even, justice or retribution. I mean balance. It is dancing in a dynamic equilibrium assessing each and everything for the absolute truth of it in time with all other things.

    I know of shaman who are excellent at spirit integration/soul retrieval, other people who are exorcists, of big or little things. There are shaman or energy workers, who help with the energetic imbalances people have, and help working with blockages removing them or helping people to do the hard cathartic work of their causes so they will leave on their own accord.

    The work to help people heal with traumas or deep neuroses, to clear those energetic strongholds that attract negative entities, energies or other cases deal with various afflictions and psychosomatic outcomes of dissociative disorders, is a very touchy and difficult set of circumstances.
    Healing these issues, most people are attracted to the healers that can do them some good. A perfect good is hard to find, and the shaman or energy worker that is skilled to deal with the specific issues maybe more difficult. There are soul retrieval methodologies that may not necessarily retrieve spirit fragments, but do the personality or psyche reintegration that is necessary for those who have had parts of themselves sequestered or hidden from themselves. For Some the healing never fully takes place. Many rituals dance around the periphery of the truth of the trauma and how the person has dealt with. Some wounds, like Frodo said, never heal.

    There are spirit retrievals after removing an entity that had been possessing a person. Some times that piece is long gone. The person lives a half life.

    Many people walk their whole lives with neuroses or traumas so deep, that these aspects hive off, sometimes as poltergeists. Cognitive therapy or cathartic rituals can help with some acceptance and reintegration. Some people, they and their families will be haunted by it. Other people these aspects from traumas or neuroses hide in their bodies their whole lives. Some create a long term illness, usually an autoimmune disorder, others some sort of physical manifestation in a permanently affected portion of their body, a limp leg, a list, a set of nervous tics, or some organ malfunction. These require extra-ordinary healing.

    All of this healing requires accepting and coming to grips with the Truth, of what happened, and the choices one made with those experiences.

    One of the axioms of healing is “Do no Harm”. And in some healing, some, no pain no gain. The axiom of speaking, “is it kind?” I am not talking about the kind thing by letting a person find out the truth the hard way, which in actuality is excessively cruel. It only saves yourself from not taking the brunt the persons reaction. There are sometimes no matter what you do, say or miracles that you can pull out of a bag of tricks, you can not heal or save a person.

    Some people have recreated themselves, they have built a strength a resolve a character that made them better than what they were. The cause of the trauma that caused their spiritual disassociation, may just have precipitated what was necessary for them to evolve change and grow. Sometimes it manifests as a cancer, or some other incurable issue. Sometimes it is represented by some type of obsession of spirit or a place holding place for types of spirits. And you have to let it go, they have made themselves better, no matter how much they have and will suffer.

    I read a interesting book of Chinese Shamanism that describes spirit bodies that leave the soul and spirit vehicle. These spirit components are called the Hun and the Po. The Hun is related to heavenly or over-world spirit and the Po has its affinity with the underworld. When you travel to these planes/worlds there are particular natural characteristics of the spirits that are there. They fit the various understandings of afterlives heavens and hells and everything in between. Most people end up going into a planes that are a combination of overworld and underworld, rooted into a place that has a similar energy to the person and where human overworlds and underworlds intersect. Realms of ancestors are coherent ones connected to their progeny. The difference between human and natural based overworlds and underworlds or supernatural realms, is that the human realms tie into belief and or behavior and often reflect aspects of their religious beliefs. These realms also reflect the zeitgeist, Weltanschauung, the energy and behavior of a people, place and time. Natures supernatural realms are not clouded with the collective conscience of people. These mixed places tend to be staging areas before people move on.

    A person’s soul and spirit vehicle (that spirit that which is the immediate vehicle for the soul, regardless of all the other spirit/astral components. Inevitably without people, place or nature keeping all the spirit components together, they separate. The soul if it is attached to one or the other more strongly will go to each of their respective places. Sometimes one component is coherent enough without the other half and the soul. For example if you are traveling and you see aimless dead and they are usually attracted to a conveyance of some sort, or some place where that underworld component can be absorbed back into the world, that is an underworld. Not unlike the spirit train in the movie “Spirited Away”. Sometimes people end up being there  a long while because of their attachments. Similarly it is true for heavenly/over-world places. Heavenly spirit fragments that have no soul end up being like 2 dimensional NPC characters in a very rich bright world there those whose soul is there appear to be functioning in more than one place and or time.

    Okay why am I going into all this. Sometimes souls fragment. Most times finding those pieces are crucial to the development of a person, their spirituality and their ultimate evolution. This is where Shaman with soul retrieval expertise is necessary. And those who are psychological healers to deal with acceptance and the processing of those traumas. So the individual can let go of the negative attachments.

    There are sometimes, the nature of the fragment soul, spirit or both, serve no purpose to the person, their evolution or growth. It is like a cancer. IT is like the biblical aphorism, if thy right hand offendeth they cut it off. If there is a spiritual gift like grace/salvation or something similar it is designed to cut out these aspects from the self, and add alignments with god or the spiritual realms people choose. In real life, some have these negative aspects who have been so sequestered they turn into obsession, oppressive spirits processes, entities or things, often manifested as illnesses of various sorts. They will hang onto them with all of their might, or they are so intrinsically bound to them to this life, they can’t let it go. This is where I learned the miracle of a “reaper” There are many “Grim Reapers”, they are tied to places, people affinities and things. I met my first one.

    I had a girlfriend who had a lot of childhood trauma, and abuse that manifested itself is in a host of physical problems, Multiple personalities, and with horrid psychological counseling false memories. (This is where I find rape is such a heinous and violent crime that needs serious punishment and a society that treats as seriously as all the damage it does, even to the core of the soul.) Sometimes with bad work of regression therapists seeding wrong information to have people fabricate a false reality. Or sometimes people do it for themselves to compensate for the massive black hole of memory loss or loss of time, or gaps in personality, to survive. At this point the manufactured reality was cobbling a working methodology for her as a person. It was a fiction that was sorting out character traits, personality aspects, parts were healing and evolving, other were withering. These manufactured memory parts were helping her body survive longer while the hidden parts would have killed her. She wasn’t ready to leave and she needed to let go of parts of the psyche, soul, spirit and other stuff. She was a loving evolving but often times irascible, difficult individual. Decades ago, one of the personalities I ran into, who gave me some obnoxious grief. I blessed her/ cursed her to know nights of complete happiness. Decades later, I was responsible for just that. Some of these healing take inexplicable twists turns and crossing of fates. Sometimes you can not heal the person. And sometimes you can not extricate critters, demons or things from a person. They have to do it themselves. The hardest part is just to be there. Love them. Hold space for them. Ground them in reality. Love them more, Love them harder, and respect and hold sacred all that they are trying to become. What healing I could do was to help with pain. Nothing else worked. The reason was that this was matter of deeper core healing, and involved letting go of what wasn’t her anymore. There was an episode where she went to the hospital, and almost died. She lost her memory, parts of her personality that held memories of her abused past. Funny now, she was a born again virgin. That helped in the healing. She had other fixated aspects of personality that had to be let go. I had to stand strong, and just be what was real in my life. That had a hard eruption of personalities. That was a deep learning experience. It also helped drive a stronger spiritual ability to deal with other people’s reality beyond the focus on ones own. It helped to heal and process memories in a new way and start letting go of some of the fabricated realities. Her illnesses progressed, and I got the call to come to the hospital, and she passed before I got there. She wasn’t gone yet. Her Matron Goddess was there and a psycho-pomp/spirit guide. What was left was a residual green energy tying one last thing to her body in her heart. It was green energy what some would call residual energy. Some call it the Heart energy or spirit. I gently lifted it from her heart and it dissipated. She was free to go. Her spirit went to an over-world for a short while and I know that she has safely reincarnated into a loving family. Two nights later I was dream traveling. It was an underworld and it was a dark level of shambling shells of people. Those type of shells where a focus of work and drudgery which were let go and not owned by their makers and owners. I manifested a bus around me, and my drum and played, drawing these spirit shells onto the bus. My teacher was their watching. Then I manifested into a Mansion with this green suited Skeletor type of character who welcomed me into his abode.   White skin over a skeletal  head and frame in a nicely done albeit green suit.  Usually my alerts would be going off, but I got a sense that this was okay. He went back to his desk, held his hands over his head and their manifesting over his head was this very same type of green energy, to only let it rain down on him giving a resilience and youth to a skin now less taught over his skeletal head. He had this shared comrade of a vibe going on and said to me, “It is nice when you get a perk like this in this business”.   You had to be there to understand this odd bit of comradery.
    My girlfriend was free of the burdens that were holding her back.

    Since then I have noticed where this one person’s passing, the reapers associated with this person’s life was gently removing what was holding him back. I saw my mother in one staging realm.    After awhile she transitioned from this one realm she was at, then to a place where she was separating. The vision wouldn’t make sense unless you had all these other experiences. The horror of her neurotic behaviors were manifested, acknowledge, albeit in an emotionally hard way. I had to show up to be a catalyst for that last bit of transformation. And finally she had an over-world self that was paying respects to and seeing off one last shell of her former lover who probably had an aspect following me for decades.

    I have found that some aspects of soul are not meant to be reintegrated. For some people they have to be let go. I have seen treatable cancers become untreatable. I have seen the horrors of rape, trauma, war and abuse play this horrible hell on peoples lives and health.  Sometimes, it frees the soul that is the will and glory of an individual held sacredly by a healthy spirit letting the rest go. I have seen what it does to beings that don’t let it go. Oft times they manifest into creatures that are denizens of these hells, reflecting these torments, while they lose what is left of what was good. And when their is nothing left but this unbalanced shell, it only hopes for more unbalanced spiritual drama that people offer. Reapers for example had a fear and fascination with death. Definitely not a job I want. Some people have ancestral realms following their progeny.

    This letting go, is a grief cycle on a spiritual level while people are living and changing through various places in the afterlife.

    To do this you have to love people for who they are, who they are working to become. As a shaman that means a lot more.

    On a personal note, this lesson applies to life. I am watching my country tear itself apart. And it is only in the beginning. Again I will do whatever is loving, and the rest I am going to have to let go and watch it happen. I don’t know whether there will be enough country left over to survive and evolve, or it will crumble and be reabsorbed into the world and some new order after all the weeping wailing and gnashing of teeth have finished. Again, as a person I got to keep my morals and truths and survive. As a shaman, I need to hold space for those who want to create and hold sacred the idea, that community, that holds each other sacred, to evolve, grow and thrive. I can only hope I teach some to do it, and hopefully have a group to hold space for a community to grow. What is wise to keep and what to let go. That is a balance, and hard work.