Deep ingrained trauma never goes away, it is like a scar.
One can heal by changing reactions to stimuli that would normally trigger us into an old pattern. Using cognitive therapy by various means and through personal alchemy, we can change how we feel and react to these events that would normally cause us to relive the trauma or act in a way that is not conforming to our will. That is work, but the psychological trauma is never HEALED. We learn to avoid it and work towards a better life that doesn’t negatively affect us. Some people cannot leave environmental realities. These psychological scars wear at us emotionally, cause physical fatigue and a daily onslaught of negativity can wear away what protections we put in place.
Privileged people in spiritual bypassing can overlook someone’s conditions by being safe in the environment they are now in. They have a spiritual ego without the awareness and empathy of those who are inundated by negative things in someone else’s world.
In those circumstances, is there spiritual progress? Yes. The discipline of altering how we act over and over improves our lives, our spirit and our soul. Physically we may not escape where we are at, at the moment; however we can work on how it affects us. When the worst of days come, the abuse comes from many sources, when I am physically and emotionally tired, the triggering of traumas and my old reactions to it comes in the same terrifying waves of experience. Getting 2 to 5 minutes of meditative breathing, I can stop the reaction, instead of it lasting days or weeks. Some jobs and situations, I even had to take anti-depressants for some time. Using meditation and internal alchemy I could improve my mind and emotions. Changing the job helped most. Obligations kept me from doing so for a long time. I understand it is difficult.
Not living in a monastic environment where we can avoid emotions, I’ve learned that each emotion has a positive and negative side. It is about how energy is used.
Anger helps us focus, being mad one loses control and energy.
Sorrow, we learn to accept loss, being morose, one clings to what is lost and loses energy to the past.
Joy, we embrace our life, giddiness we fritter away our energy with infatuation.
Pensive is where we take energy and store it with an action, versus worry where we run energy out with no prepared action.
Respect, we see the world as it is, and act accordingly, versus fear where it drains of energy, response and rationality.
When we choose to change the energetic way emotions work, we can conserve our emotional, physical and spiritual energy. Is it easy? No. Does it take time and rehearsal? Yes. Eventually we improve our lives and reactions to past traumas. In our mind and emotional reactions we avoid the triggered traumas of the past.
There are parts of the brain changed from traumas. The brain cells feed off of glutamates and permanently wire memories, actions and reactions. This is where traumas effectively create sensitive scars. The idea that you should be HEALED bypasses this physical fact and how people struggle with it every day. regardless of how much spiritual growth they have. Trust in your growth. Meditative detachment and moving into the script and behaviors we have programmed for our selves to keep us from triggering those parts of the brain is what we do. People selling that their spiritual processes will heal you, and infer there is something wrong with you when it doesn’t work, they either haven’t been there or are abusive themselves, looking for followers and sycophants. This spiritual bypassing is toxic.
The work you have done to make your life better and how you react to life, I am proud of you. When you work to get a balance after all those triggers have been pushed, I am proud of you. I carry my scars proudly, even my mental ones. I have stopped the abuse cycle from affecting my family. I don’t mirror the abuse patterns to other people. I love myself for doing the best I can with what I have been dealt. LOL, sometimes I eat too much or the wrong things, or wallow in hypervigilance, and other counter-dependent behaviors. When this happens, I breathe and focus on my day to day. It is the practice and discipline. In the end and into the next life, the disciplines and alignment will carry over, the rest I’ll shed with this body. Know I am proud of you, no matter how you feel and/or if you are being overwhelmed today. Each step in a new way of being, no matter how much that old life haunts you, is an act of a worthy warrior, creating a better self and world around you. I’ll be proud of you.
Most importantly, Be Proud of Yourself!