• Spiritual Musings

    Spiritual Bypassing of “you should be HEALED”

    Deep ingrained trauma never goes away, it is like a scar.

    One can heal by changing reactions to stimuli that would normally trigger us into an old pattern. Using cognitive therapy by various means and through personal alchemy, we can change how we feel and react to these events that would normally cause us to relive the trauma or act in a way that is not conforming to our will. That is work, but the psychological trauma is never HEALED. We learn to avoid it and work towards a better life that doesn’t negatively affect us. Some people cannot leave environmental realities. These psychological scars wear at us emotionally, cause physical fatigue and a daily onslaught of negativity can wear away what protections we put in place.

    Privileged people in spiritual bypassing can overlook someone’s conditions by being safe in the environment they are now in. They have a spiritual ego without the awareness and empathy of those who are inundated by negative things in someone else’s world.

    In those circumstances, is there spiritual progress? Yes. The discipline of altering how we act over and over improves our lives, our spirit and our soul. Physically we may not escape where we are at, at the moment; however we can work on how it affects us. When the worst of days come, the abuse comes from many sources, when I am physically and emotionally tired, the triggering of traumas and my old reactions to it comes in the same terrifying waves of experience. Getting 2 to 5 minutes of meditative breathing, I can stop the reaction, instead of it lasting days or weeks. Some jobs and situations, I even had to take anti-depressants for some time. Using meditation and internal alchemy I could improve my mind and emotions. Changing the job helped most. Obligations kept me from doing so for a long time. I understand it is difficult.

    Not living in a monastic environment where we can avoid emotions, I’ve learned that each emotion has a positive and negative side. It is about how energy is used.

    Anger helps us focus, being mad one loses control and energy.

    Sorrow, we learn to accept loss, being morose, one clings to what is lost and loses energy to the past.

    Joy, we embrace our life, giddiness we fritter away our energy with infatuation.

    Pensive is where we take energy and store it with an action, versus worry where we run energy out with no prepared action.

    Respect, we see the world as it is, and act accordingly, versus fear where it drains of energy, response and rationality.

    When we choose to change the energetic way emotions work, we can conserve our emotional, physical and spiritual energy. Is it easy? No. Does it take time and rehearsal? Yes. Eventually we improve our lives and reactions to past traumas. In our mind and emotional reactions we avoid the triggered traumas of the past.

    There are parts of the brain changed from traumas. The brain cells feed off of glutamates and permanently wire memories, actions and reactions. This is where traumas effectively create sensitive scars. The idea that you should be HEALED bypasses this physical fact and how people struggle with it every day. regardless of how much spiritual growth they have. Trust in your growth. Meditative detachment and moving into the script and behaviors we have programmed for our selves to keep us from triggering those parts of the brain is what we do. People selling that their spiritual processes will heal you, and infer there is something wrong with you when it doesn’t work, they either haven’t been there or are abusive themselves, looking for followers and sycophants. This spiritual bypassing is toxic.

    The work you have done to make your life better and how you react to life, I am proud of you. When you work to get a balance after all those triggers have been pushed, I am proud of you. I carry my scars proudly, even my mental ones. I have stopped the abuse cycle from affecting my family. I don’t mirror the abuse patterns to other people. I love myself for doing the best I can with what I have been dealt. LOL, sometimes I eat too much or the wrong things, or wallow in hypervigilance, and other counter-dependent behaviors. When this happens, I breathe and focus on my day to day. It is the practice and discipline. In the end and into the next life, the disciplines and alignment will carry over, the rest I’ll shed with this body. Know I am proud of you, no matter how you feel and/or if you are being overwhelmed today. Each step in a new way of being, no matter how much that old life haunts you, is an act of a worthy warrior, creating a better self and world around you. I’ll be proud of you.

    Most importantly, Be Proud of Yourself!

  • Uncategorized

    Personal Editing, perspectives of Internal Alchemy

    Being a personal editor of ones internal dialogue requires the ability to have a separate critical thinking aspect of self that can detach from ones active interaction with reality.

    Soul, is a product of spirit and our ability to reflect on our relationships with reality, or it reflects the disciplines and repetitive behaviors we do in the reality we have. It is only as effective as the honest relationship that the social reality of our experiences has with nature and actual reality.

    There is a fine line between creating aspects of self for internal dialogue and disassociation. Usually disassociated aspects from trauma get sequestered through neurosis.

    Religiously, religion and magical practices, people project a conscious construct of good, evil and metaphysical functions on the near universe. In kind it reflects back to us. The question comes how harmonious is all that with natural overworld and underworld reality. Failure it can tear souls apart and conform them to those projections.

    60% of people don’t have internal dialogues. They react to a series of emotional responses and the cultural context. The debate about critical thinking and participatory relationships of community and culture and the ramifications of who should lead and present thoughts to the public at large is a giant quagmire that I won’t address here.

    Meditation, active mindful meditation we setup 3 personality constructs. The first is our known ego, given. Second, we create a quiet aspect of relationship to our internal self, closest to our soul. The third is the construct we wish to be and work towards. This is alchemy. This shadow work. And this process is the beginning of magic. Spirits, gods, whether objectively existing or as thoughtforms they are egregores of function and purpose that should reflect an active relationship with the universe. OR, in our own work in meditation, we develop and ever expanding non-dualistic view of being part of the universe. To do so, we have to make our ego maleable to embrace those experiences. OJas, fetches, servitors, watchtowers, guardians, are all externalized aspects of self of function with relationships with the universe/world of apprehension, where these aspects of personality are exercised from our being. Having a fixed singular ego would prevent any of that from manifesting. We hold space for other spirits or for our conceptual interactions with the univerrse either through our own projections, or the collective projections of spirit that are part of various aspects of collective consciousnesses.

    These honest relationships with the universe in all of its manifestations and our reflection of these relationships giving it intellect become part of our soul and the spirit that interacts with. This reflection, internal observation, internal dialogues, each, evolves our spirit and soul. The difference between this type of disassociation of ego and neurosis is that these exercised disassociations, under your structure, thinking and behaviors evolves our self, as opposed to the unconscious shattering of ourselves.

    One of the things that infected everything of my being:

    I choose not to believe. I choose to know. And even then view everybit of information with multiple points of view. These are the personalities that are subprograms to, in turn, analyze every bit of information, impression and analytical associations. Knowing that is not infinite, hold all of it suspect. I can only act on the best information and analyse that I have. I am always willing to change my assessment. Because of what, who and how I am that is rare. And then I analyze how, when and where and why I came to a wrong conclusion. I am teaching myself to improve my analytical techniques. I realize I am not one of those find spirituality in the doing, or strictly by feeling, but by having my mind reflect all of that so that my spirit will drive my actions as much as I am in this corporeal incarnation.

    One has to understand intimately and detachedly each actor in the mind for these conversations. Why, where and how come and from where do these thoughts and emotions come from. Like Siva and Durga, destroy the illusions, but understand the separate manifestations in the context of Theirs, Ours and my apprehension as to their local manifestatons purposes. And act accordingly.

    I have made 100’s of fetches and yet they were influenced like any person in the realities around me back decades ago. They assisted Maya to trap me. I had to break those fetters. I recalled them all and played Judge Jury and executioner and on rare occasion, made amalgam to incorporate into and what I needed to be in this world. I know of no one who has done that while living. Granted I have a unique perspective.

    How do I in this new manifestation of self that I am creating, and may divulge in the future, help to evolve people or constrain those who simply believe in the zeitgiest in whatever name that traps them. It is a sacred work I am undertaking. Given the opportunity I will train someone, if they are willing to do the work.

    If you talk to yourself, in those internal dialogues, be brutally honest. Anything less you will do yourself a disservice.