There are 2 parts. Each depending on where you are with your faith or spiritual journey.
Struggles and doubts are natural with faith based religions. Each person and within the context of their church/religion either follow the dogma, or you will be on the outs with your religious community.
A true spiritual journey, and questioning reality, is part of the process. You have to have internal reflection. You need to review your choices, and see what is authentic to you and what were edicts from others that have no bearing on your journey, experiences, and the lack of coherence internally of others that fall into hypocrisy.
The problems from two different angles have the same issue for you>
You are changing. People are addicted to who they think they are. (Usually they are comfortable with their accumulation of circumstances and justify it.) Society, is its own animal. Each person is addicted to the comfortable pattern they are in. They don’t want to question that pattern and their way of being.
However you have. You make them uncomfortable. They may love you, care about you, try to include you into the activities that help feel normal asking for you to make things comfortable in their relationship with you.
Spirituality is a lonely road until you meet fellow travelers. They aren’t in your church, your home or in the town. They are on metaphorical road where each traveling. They tales to tell, their experiences, Their insights, yet, what is more important is the insights that you have. There are books, communities , that can help you get the validation from where you are in journey. Truthfully, many books and communities mirror the same stultifying means of dogma. See beyond it. They have hard earned their sense of self and finally maybe resolving or working with traumas, they are comfortable the first time in their lives and they’re hanging on to it for dear life. The same just like those who are comfortable in their religion, community and family situation, even if they are miserable. They are comfortable with their predictable pattern they are living in.
As a lifelong traveler and pursuit of my spiritual life, discomfort and being misunderstood is a daily thing. Sure I have worked a routine, and have friends and mates that share our shared circumstances comfortably. We have found each other and make the best of it. Each spiritual community has their own outlook and use of metaphors for describing or sharing their experiences. Once you get past that, you can hear the same thing with different words and metaphors from other people and groups.
You now have the opportunity to search out for new friends and new extended family of your own making. The few friends I have had and do have are worth all of it. The communities that I am part of, I may not fit 100% but we get along and respect each other’s journeys.
Part of the spiritual journey is being comfortable be alone. You build your own authentic self. When you do, you have your hand on the rudder, and control the sail, and you choose which horizon you sail for. You have made the first steps, keep on stepping and welcome to the journey. I can say confidently it is worth every step.
